Lady Gaga was supposed to take the stage at Hiro for Marc Jacob’s after-party, thrown in conjunction with V magazine, at 11:15 last night. Determined to get as close to Gaga and her pantslessness as possible, we took a spot in front of the white grand piano on the stage at around 10:45. Nearly two hours later, after we had sweated through our chiffon, inhaled the secondhand smoke of about a dozen cigarettes (and a few joints), stopped enjoying the veritably good house music spun by a big-haired, blonde, sequin-clad drag queen in the corner, and made a few friends we’ll probably never talk to again, drummers wearing war paint flanking the stage started playing. A fire eater with glitter all over his face spewed flames into the air. Finally, Gaga emerged, one arm held high with a white, possibly pleather, robe affixed around her neck and a sunburst of stiff blonde hair radiating from the crown of her head.
On the stage in a diligently Windexed glass case labeled “Haus of Gaga” hung the white “blood”-stained bodysuit from her Video Music Awards performance. It was anyone’s guess as to what was under that robe, but she threw it to the side to reveal a slightly different version of the red lace ensemble she wore to the VMAs: a red fishnet lace body stocking worn only with a red G-string, patent-leather red peep-toe stiletto platforms, and a red lace teardrop dripping from her eye. Readers, we could see her nipples — not only was she pantsless, she was topless!
She started playing “Poker Face” on the piano, going in and out of singing in English, telling the crowd to shut up, singing in French, telling the crowd to sing along, and talking. Gaga said she wanted to wear something that evening inspired by Marc Jacobs’sspring 2010 collection. It’s unclear how her body stocking, which looked like it could have been easily purchased in a sex shop on Sixth Avenue, related, aside from the ruffles at the neckline and her lack of bottoms (he definitely had bras on the runway). “Two years ago i was stuck in my tiny apartment in New York with nothing but my talent,” she said. “Then I wrote a song that changed my life.” She launched into an a cappella rendition of “Just Dance.” It may have been the most intense four minutes of our lives (don’t tell Madonna). When she finished, she stood up, bowed, turned around, and walked away, her entire rump clearly showing through the body stocking. Now we know what disco heaven feels like.